Originally published in National Lampoon
Unwanted Virtual Reality “Brand Experiences”
The FedEx Immersive Apartment
Feel like you’re actually there as a FedEx delivery person knocks on your door and has you sign for a package.
Snickers You’re Not You When You’re Hungry VR Experience
Wait in a line for 8 hours for no clear reason as a guy named Fred from Phoenix.
The Got Milk? No Milk Effect
Go door-to-door in a suburban neighborhood and discover everyone is out of milk, die of dehydration.
The Staples Easy VR Simulator
Spend a day in an office accomplishing menial tasks at your desk as “That Was Easy!” randomly booms over a loudspeaker.
You’re In Good Hands With Allstate 360°
Look around at the giant hands that hold you. They’re slightly sweaty, and warmer than you’d probably like, but overall pretty nice.
The Rubbermaid Container Thanksgiving Leftovers Experience
Envelop yourself in the mild stimulation of sorting all the uneaten food from an extended family gathering into dozens of Rubbermaid containers.
VR Miller Time
Instantly transport yourself to a 5 p.m. happy hour surrounded by business-casual workers making small talk in a too-loud generic bar.
Disneyland: The Happiest Place In Virtual Reality
Explore an immaculately curated theme park filled with nonspeaking passersby wearing digitally-enhanced smiles.
Stay as long as possible in an infinite, all-white, formless environment until you become one with the brand’s core state of being (however long it takes).