No Seriously, Why the Hell Aren’t We on the ROOF?!
Hey wait a minute. What if we did exactly what we’re doing right now, but on the ROOF?! I know, holy shit right? Because it’s a fact: when normal activities are done on the roof, they automatically become cool.
I mean look at us all being lame. Reading the Internet. Making sandwiches. Practicing our trombones. Just add those three magic words — On. The. Roof. And HOCUS POCUS BITCHES. We’re now the quintessential picture of urban hipness.
Sure, transporting everything upstairs might require dozens of trips and an ungodly amount of extension cords, but you all know as well as I do that once we’re up there, it’ll be worth it.
Why do you think they make songs about roofs, entire musicals even? The fiddler sure as hell wasn’t in the living room. He was on the roof, having a BLAST. “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!” Probably because they were having such a great time. And oh yeah, up on the rooftop with old Saint Nick. Santa Claus — good guy.
Oh there’s a chance of some rain? Maybe even a hurricane? Well that’s just something you have to risk when you think outside of this four-walled-and-ceiling-covered box and go somewhere where the only limit is your imagination and the motherfucking sky.
You know, you guys thought I was crazy when I legally changed my name to Al Fresco, but guess what? I get to wake up every day with a constant reminder and beautiful challenge to live every day to its roofiest. Which yeah, I’ll admit sounds kinda rapey, and my petition for a National Roofy Day was probably a miscalculation on my part. But Mr. Fresco sure as shit lives UP to his name.
And okay yeah, the last time we went up there, Kyle fell off. We all remember Kyle. But we gotta move on. The great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Little known fact is that he wasn’t talkin’ hockey — he was talking about all those times he wished he had spent on the roof instead of on that boring ass ice.
So what do you say? Who wants to not just raise the roof, but get all up on that sweet sky mistress?
What’s that? We’re past rooftop access hours?